Lance Pomegranate
- Linnae Klutchko
- 12 minutes ago
- 6 min read
November Character Interview
Patricia Parrington ~ November 1, 2025
Hello my lovely readers and fellow book-lovers! For those of you who are new here, I, your inquisitive host Patricia Parrington, have the pleasure of interviewing characters from books all over the world.
Today we have here with us Lance Pomegranate from the adult whodunnit series The Weapon and the Fruit by L. E. Bendon. Bendon is a musician originally from London and is now based in South India. He took to writing during the 2020 lockdowns and has since published two novels in his quirky murder mystery series. Bendon is currently working on a comedic fantasy story.
Meet Lance
Welcome to Fable Features! I’m excited to get to know you.
[Patricia yawns as she sits on the orange suede sofa.]
Sorry, I had some bizarre dreams last night and didn’t quite wake up feeling rested. What’s the last dream you had?
Oh mate, I wish I could remember the best bits—I’ve a vague recollection of it being absolutely mental, but there was definitely something involving a newspaper story that kept changing every time I looked at it. Bloody frustrating when you want to use it as evidence on a murder case.
That does sound frustrating! Do you often dream of murder cases?
Probably more often than the average bloke. You know how it is; work often follows you into your dreams if you let it. Of course, in the dreams, the solution is always staring you in the face, and it’s also always changing, so you can never get to the bottom of it. The upside, though, is that no one’s really died when it’s in a dream.
That’s definitely a good thing. You must have an intense job, though, if you’re dealing with murder cases!
[Patricia shakes her head.]
Certainly not a job I could do. But let’s get back to talking about you! What would you say is your best physical feature?
Probably my leg muscles. I got into running recently, and I’m impressed at how well they manage to carry the rest of me around. Other than that, my hair’s pretty good, I’m told.
Your legs do look very toned. Maybe I should get into running . . .
[Patricia looks at her legs and taps her chin. She shrugs and returns her attention to Lance.]
Do you have a best friend? What are they like?
I’ve got two (I’m allowed two, I hope—you did say “what are they like”). There’s my mate Sahana—she’s such fun to be around. She’s a jazz musician who got me to acquire her taste in films, and she’s surprisingly good at holding her alcohol. And then there’s Pav—or Detective Sergeant Pawel Krol, I should say. He’s the main reason why the police put up with me, solid as a rock, brilliant mate. Although really, we have his wife to thank for our introduction. Long story. Someone ought to write a book about it.
[Patricia chuckles.]
They really should write a book about it. Tell me more about this introduction and the police. Do you get to work with them?
I do get to work with them. I shouldn’t, really. Everyone tells me private detectives can’t just join in with the Met while they investigate. Not least of all the DCI, although, I think that has more to do with how I dress. But if someone’s been murdered, the police are going to investigate aren’t they, and so am I, so why not work together? It’s just blind luck really. Pav’s Mrs hired me once upon a time—nothing to do with the police. But then after I got to know Pav, we got chatting about something he had been working on once—a case that never got solved. Fast forward to the present, he and his partner DI Owusu—now there’s someone you don’t want to mess with, not unless you’ve got a packet of biscuits handy to disarm her with—they’re often getting me involved; either officially or unofficially, depending on the chief’s mood.
I think that’s great that the police are willing to work alongside you. Like you said, if you’re both going to be working the same case anyway, might as well collaborate.
How would you react if you opened your eyes and suddenly you were in a haunted house?
First of all, I’d check the rules and see if there’s a cash prize for spending the night there. The memes must have come from somewhere, yes? If I’m not so lucky, I’ll see if I can figure out exactly where I am and whether I can still contact anyone on the outside. If it turns out I’m dealing with actual supernatural forces, I might as well give up there and then, so I’ll be going on the assumption that it’s a prank until either I’m dead or I get out.
That’s a smart way to go about it. You sound like someone who always has a plan! Let’s flip the script and look at another side of things: When was a time you failed at something? How’d you handle it?
Someone got killed because I was too cautious once. To be honest, I’m still living with it, but I’ve got my mates, my life, my work. People tell me it wasn’t my fault anyway, but it still nags at you, you know?
Oh no! That’s awful. Yeah, something like that doesn’t just go away now, does it? I’m very glad you have good, supportive people in your life. That sounds hard.
Our next question is a bit more lighthearted: What would you say is your greatest achievement so far?
I’d have to say moving to the UK. It had been calling to me for a while. A heartbreak sped up the process, but I’m here now and all the better for it.
Well I’m sorry you had to go through some heartbreak. But that’s wonderful you got to move to the UK! What’s your favorite part about it so far?
I’d have to say all the different cultures and people from all over the world right on my doorstep. Not just literally surrounding me where I live in Hammersmith but being able to visit a few dozen countries just like that, each one a short flight away. It’s impossible to get bored here.
That sounds amazing! I love exploring different countries and different cultures.
Ooh, I like this next question. What’s the nicest gift you’ve ever received?
I got a rugby ball signed by the Wallabies for my twenty-first birthday. That was pretty special. I intend to bring it back with me next time I visit Melbourne.
That’s so cool! Getting something signed like that would be very special.
[Patricia sighs and smooths out the skirt of her mahogany dress.]
Hmm, looks like we are almost out of time. Let’s squeeze in one more question, yes? What does perfect happiness look like to you?
Maximum fulfillment and minimal stress. In an ideal world, everyone should have that. For me, it’s not far off what I already have. I’ve got a job I love, I live in the best city in the world, I’ve got great mates, and for the most part no one cares at all that I never wear anything on my feet, but you know, there’s always something else to wish for: like predictable weather, trains that run on time, and never seeing the odious face of Nigel Farage in the media again. I’m also single, which is a form of happiness, but I would like another crack at the alternative if I meet the right person.
[Patricia’s green eyes widen as she glances at Lance’s feet.]
My, I didn’t even realize you weren’t wearing shoes.
[She smiles and stands.]
Thank you so much for chatting with me today! It was great getting to know you. And I hope you do get to meet the right person some day!
End of interview.
Want to Read More?
Lance’s author, L. E. Bendon, can be found on X/Twitter, Instagram, and his website, www.aneurysmcupcake.com.
Cover design for both is by Lisa Brewster of The Brewster Project.
See Ya Next Time
Aaand that's all the time we have today. Thank you, readers, for coming. And thank you, Lance, for letting us get to know you! See y'all next time.
If you would like to submit a character to be interviewed for a future issue of Fable Features, please send an email to linnae.writer@gmail.com with the subject line: Fable Features.
Please note that erotica and content with excessive vulgar language will not be accepted.
If you have questions you'd like Patricia Parrington to ask in a future interview, please submit them to linnae.writer@gmail.com with the subject line: Interview Questions.
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